Our Preferred Pronoun is “We”

"Our preferred pronouns is 'we'." - Alok Vaid-Menon

I write in the first person. I'm a writer who soaked up reading and education like a sponge... and because I won some genetic lottery, I happened to be academically gifted, so language acquisition, words, reading, writing and sentence deconstruction all came so easily to me, flowing like a spring from hallowed ground. 

But I have never thought of myself as "I". Since childhood, in my head, I have thought of myself as "we". The easiest way to describe my internal experience is to liken myself to a gem ... many facets, same gem, and depending on where you shined the light, you'd get different refractions. Each facet was a different part of "we", and I would joke that I was "run by committee" internally. 

Later, in early adulthood, to shorten a long (and, to some people, maybe somewhat interesting story), I was diagnosed with DID-NOS, among other things, and my therapist wrote a paper about me. I stopped telling my secrets and spent years in therapy and treatment and off and on different therapeutic drugs.

Later, in my late thirties, I began IFS treatment, and began becoming personally acquainted with these facets and integrating them, and yet acknowledging them as whole, too. Not autonomous, but part of me. Not driving, but informative. 

I completed two years of IFS and about 8-9  months ago began work with my current therapist. Recently I expressed worry for "my people" in a session due to geopolitical events during collapse prior to necessary rebuilding steps ... she asked, confused, "Wait ... your people? Who are your people? Like, your family?" 

I stopped for moment and just stared at her. "No," I said. "People. My family, my community, my town, my city, my planet... people of the world, everyone everywhere are my people." I paused, not knowing how to explain that, for me, 'people' as a word is not limited to those wearing human faces... my cats are people, your dog is a person, the beagles in animal testing facilities are people ... hell, cows have best friends. She was nodding, taking notes. I sighed. 

"I'm just worried because as necessary as it is to collapse these systems ... it will cause suffering, and the rebuild will be slow." She nodded. 

We talked about "we". 

Our preferred pronoun has always been we. We don't know how to be singular, one thing, static and unchanging. We are as changeable as the moon, who nevertheless wears her same face always, save when she cloaks herself in shadow at the New Moon. We are as much a mystery, and as loyal. We are as bound to this world, and its people. 

Our preferred pronoun is we. 

And we love you. ALL of you. 

All of you.

Contact Me: 

info@ajoyfulpassage.com