Death & Bereavement Services

“When we walk to the edge of all the light we have and take a step into the darkness of the unknown, we must believe that one of two things will happen: There will be something solid for us to stand on or we will be taught to fly.”

― Patrick Overton

Death and dying are frightening concepts for most people because change and the unknown can both be scary.  Before I became physically disabled, my role as a Death Doula was to try to make this time as filled with comfort and dignity as possible, by empowering the dying person to illuminate their authentic wishes and to express those wishes to their loved ones and caregivers so that we, as a team for the care of the dying, could help make those wishes as much of a reality as possible. My primary goal was to ensure “a good death” for my client, to ensure as little suffering for them as possible, with as much joy and beauty and pleasure as possible. 

Now that I am physically disabled, I no longer offer as many End of Life services, but I do still offer Bereavement Coaching to the beloved ones left behind to face life in a world without our loved ones after Death has visited us. 

Why Death Work?

“Anyone may have diamonds: An heirloom is an ornament of quite a different kind.” 

– Elizabeth Aston

I was captivated by one of my beloved Gramma’s many rings from as far back as I can recall. The oval cabochon was the perfect blue of a late summer sky with a six-pointed star that shone only in the light, surrounded by a dozen tiny diamonds and set in dainty fourteen karat white gold. It’s a beautiful Lindy Star sapphire and I felt a pull to it, a kinship with that stone. When I was about seven years old, I asked if I could have it someday. Gramma laughed and said, “Someday,” and slipped it back onto her own finger, smiling.

I was 25 when Gramma gave me that ring, all unexpected one summer day. I’d dropped by on my way out of town for an impromptu visit with her, as I often would because her house was only about five minutes out of my way during that particular drive, and I could never drive nearby without feeling the tug of her on my heartstring. That day, she slipped it off her finger and gave it to me, and said, “This was always going to be yours, and I suppose now is as good a time as any.”

And I resisted, I said, “Keep it for me a while longer, Gramma.”

She shook her head (I know where I get my stubborn streak!) and insisted. “I want to see you enjoy it a while,” she said.

Well, how could I argue after that? Reluctantly, I accepted and thanked her and kissed her papery cheek, and pressed my forehead against hers in our old, old gesture of love.

The following spring, I held her hand as she passed away, in an ICU, connected to a machine for every bodily function. As her daughters gathered at her feet and sang, my sister and I locked eyes with each other and held Gramma’s hands, and I leaned down and whispered to her that it was okay to go, that we’d be okay. A few minutes later, Gramma died.

Over a decade later (and before I was a doula), I found myself providing respite care for a friend – she was a hospice nurse and her mother was dying. She and her sister were caring for their mom, but they were so very tired. I offered to sit with their dying mother while they ate dinner and took a break and took showers. I sat with this dying woman, the room permeated with the knowledge that Death was coming soon to escort her to the Afterlife, whatever awaits us there. And there wasn’t room for many words. So I held her hand and we simply sat mostly in silence, with my thumb stroking the back of her hand.

The next day, I knew I wanted to be a Death Doula. I began researching the profession though it was four years before I began the training. I spent that four years doing deep personal healing work for myself so that I can come to my clients from as cleansed of a spiritual and emotional place, with as much mindfulness and intentionality, as possible. This journey alters, challenges and humbles me in ways that I never expected.

My Healing Journey

The cure for pain is in the pain.

— Rumi

Over the course of these years, I’ve spent my time in deep inner work, healing between that moment and becoming a Death Doula (and the years since) and most particularly since becoming physically disabled. I have learned much, and spent that time becoming myself. It is my hope that you also become yourself.

I spent two years in intense work with an IFS (Internal Family Systems) therapist. This is a style of therapy which allows one to acknowledge, meet, work with and integrate all of the parts of oneself — parts which, for years, may have been running the show behind the scenes. Recently, I changed to a therapist who specializes in neurodivergent adults to focus on learning better coping in that arena, and I frequently meditate, among other healing practices. I am continually working on my own growth and self-care and improvement, in other words.

Can I Support You?

“We are at our most powerful the moment we no longer need to be powerful.”

― Eric Micha'el Leventhal

I am a firm believer in “think-say-do” or thought-word-deed, and also in “watch one-do one-teach one.” This translates to wanting to pass onto others what I am learning and what I am aware of on deep intuitive levels. I am specifically interested in offering services to those who are unsupported or under-supported in today’s climate, such as the uninsured and the isolated — and in bringing people together to build community.

To this end, I am offering events in Denver, CO where we can come together to discuss whatever life challenges we may be facing in today’s difficult times. The first of these events will take place on September 14, 2025 in Denver, CO and the link to attend/RSVP can be found at Bexyevents. 

This is a space to come together within a community arena to hold space for one another and to experience what it is like to have space held for your issue. In times like this, we need community like never before. Let’s build power through vulnerability together.

Contact Me:

info@ajoyfulpassage.com